94

The first long-term role playing campaign I game mastered used the Star Wars Saga Edition ruleset, based off of Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 editon. One of the players saw I had brought the rulebook and dice to a role playing camp (with the intention of reading it and looking cool, rather than actually playing it) and asked if we could play it for a bit. As soon as we'd made some copies of the character sheet we got to character creation. The group's Jedi was a Kel Dor named Kel-Moran. Our pilot was a Human named Wedge. The firepower of the group was brought by the infamous Galak Sempti (which I made according to the player's wishes (namely shoot fast and shoot a lot)). Lastly the group's technical expertise came from the Kel Dor scoundrel, Torin-Dol.

The party first met in a tavern, or rather a cantina on Tatooine (which is basically the same thing). The first roll of the game was an Acrobatics roll used to resolve whether or not Torin-Dol's dancing was good enough to impress the Twi'lek girls. He rolled a crit. The second roll of the game was against Torin-dol's fortitude defence, to determine if the would catch an STD or not. He didn't. And so the rivalry between an inexperienced GM and a character who had really lucky rolls begun.

Later on in their adventures the group picked up several one off companions as friends wanted to try out role playing and left after they decided that it wasn't for them. Two more players stuck with us, Katrina 'Kat' Revkin the human hacker and Corran the Bothan security chief, while Wedge slowly left the group.

The group had several daring escapades. Kel-Moran, together with Kat and Torin-Dol, investigated a dark side cult on a far off moon and encountered the dark Jedi Harkos Jund (during which Kat's player coined the phrase "Yo" which still haunts me today for it's potent ability to interupt any and all dramatic dialogues regarding the nature of good and evil).

During another adventure the group was tasked with transporting a packet that (unknowingly to them) contained an old lightsaber belonging to Kel-Moran's master. Their ship was boarded by pirates who proceeded to steal the package and leave the crew seemingly in peace. It was here that I crafted my best ever cliff-hanger by having a hidden bomb go off while they travelled in hyperspace just as the session ended, leaving them with a broken-down control system to fix before the ship imploded.

They once took a brief 'vacation' of sorts on a civilian space cruiser when their ship needed repairs. Galak Sempti, being the stubborn bastard that he was, refused to leave the sauna at one point and it took the whole group as well as the Jedi's force powers to be able to stand the heat for long enough to have a conversation about leaving. This is a pretty good example of one-half of Galak's talents (the other being having no hesitation when it came to firing off his repeating blaster).

Eventually the group decided to take on the pirates who had stolen the old lightsaber. They found out where the pirate base was and made an attempt at storming it head on. Once inside they were captured and had their equipment stripped away. They staged an escape that got them back their gear and then headed for the control bridge of the space station. They got in the elevator and pushed the button. When the doors opened again the pirates unloaded everything they had at the elevators and killed the party.

All in all it was a fun campaign that ran for at least four years, but with play sessions being confined to a few dates roughly half a year apart. I learnt a lot about preparing for games and that the D20 line of systems is a bit too heavy for my style of game mastering.

============================================

Three weeks ago we heard from Torin-Dol's player that he couldn't bear life any more and that he was saying goodbye. That Thursday we got word that he had passed away.

His departure has left me with an odd feeling. People around me have died before, but this was the first time a friend had gone. Despite not being anywhere near as close to him as I were when we played Star Wars together I've been carrying the odd feeling with me, occasionally 'picking it up' to examine when I have some time to spare that isn't occupied by work or other stuff.

I didn't visit the funeral because I didn't see the point. I'm not religious, or particularly spiritual. Funerals are for the living, in my mind, and I didn't feel like I needed one.

============================================

I wrote this, not to garner sympathy or comfort from people around me. I don't think I'm in mourning as one would typically think of it, with tears and struggles to go on. I wrote this because I guess I wanted to do some final send off. Which, come to think of it, is likely my way of mourning. He's gone and that's that.

I hope you, the reader enjoyed this little piece. If not, well, bummer.

Good bye Torin-Dol.

93

Today was the day. Arthur walked through the door and let the heavy bags fall with a thump onto the wooden floor of the cabin. Outside the low sun of a summer afternoon lit up the spaces between the woodland trees. Inside a few streams of light slipped through the old and heavy curtains. The room had few adornments, just an old pair of antlers that hung above the fireplace and had been there since before he got the cabin. There was a bed with crumpled sheets along the left-hand wall and opposite that was a counter and an old cupboard. The whole place carried a faint scent of rotting wood.
   Arthur left the door hang open behind him, letting in more sunlight, as he strode over to the chair and table that occupied the back wall of the cabin. He sat down and stared intently at what he had in front of him: a gnarled log that he had picked out specifically after the snow melted away some months ago.
   He leaned down and picked up the worn bag that was resting against the leg of the table, brushed off some of the dust that had gathered on it, and opened the clasp. From the bag he produced leather bundle. Unrolling the bundle on the table revealed a set of old woodworking chisels. Slowly his hand wandered along the blades and handles of the tools before settling on one of them. He took a firm grasp of the piece of wood and started working on it. Arthur could feel how, despite how long it had been since last time, his hands quickly got reacquainted with the tools and the material.
   Hours passed. As the last light of the sun were about to vanish he set down the piece on the table in front of him: a wooden sculpture portraying a woman wearing a wedding gown. In her long hair was a string of pearls holding up a rose to the back of her head. Her facial expression was one of a bittersweet smile.
   Arthur leaned back in the chair with a content smile on his face. A few droplets went down his cheek from under his glasses. He put the chisel back with the rest of the tools and returned the bundle to the bag.

Inspiration

92

I find it increasingly more difficult to write musings. Usually I do one of these when I get really upset about something, but the things that upset me nowadays aren't worth mentioning.
   I feel upset because someone else is chosen over me to hang out with. This isn't something I should whine or complain about however, as I wish happiness for those I care about and I can't assure that the time spent with me would be better than it would've been with someone else. We forge our own happiness best with the happiness of those around us. If I force myself onto other then neither of us will be as happy as we could've been otherwise.
   When others ask me if anything's wrong I don't feel I can let them in on what's bugging me. "They preferred someone else over me" doesn't really have a solution other than to let it be and eventually it'll stop being an issue. I don't think I would want pity in these moments either, as I am well aware already that I am well liked and people enjoy my company.

Sometimes I get called out for being cold and too analytical. I can see why.

Until next time.

91

I don't know why, but I feel an urge to write about my current state. I'll leave it for later to see if I get around to publishing this as I believe thag these thoughts are temporary and will pass with time.

It is currently 6:35 am on January 1st 2016. I am in my bed and have just turned of my computer.
   My New Year's Eve was not what I would call enjoyable. I got out of bed well after 2:00 pm and didn't eat until dinner was served. After eating and playing a couple of rounds of Geoguessr with my family I retreated to my room to play video games.
   As time approached midnight I realised I had missed the traditional broadcast of Dinner for One on the TV. This New Years wouldn't really be celebrated by me, and I realised I had barely lent Christmas a thought either.
   As I saw the wishes of a happy new year beginning to pour into my Facebook feed Incouldn't help but feel a bit jelous (or perhaps envious) of how happy everyone else seemed with their gatherings. It is my seclusion however, my self-imposed exile, that left me alone by the computer without anyone to talk to.
   Sometimes it's rather difficult.

Until next time.

Addendum: As was to be expected I feel much better after sleeping. I still don't know why I've felt especially cynical during this holiday season. Oh well. Here's to 2016.

90

I awoke in the middle of the night. Next to me I could hear my tentmate snoring and fast asleep. I rose up and put on a pair of trousers, feeling I needed to escape the tent for a moment to relieve myself.
   Outside was gloomy with the climbing full moon being the sole source of light. Its image could be seen reflected on the calm lake we'd set up camp by the evening before. A slow chill blew across from the water, encouraging me to hurry up my pace. I moseyed off behind a bush and some reed and unzipped. Everything was silent.
   Suddenly I heard a sound far off, coming from the other side of the lake. It sounded like a shriek, somewhere between a spinning car-wheel and a young woman. As I peered out for the source a tiny speck of light appeared on the opposite beach. I tried to focus and distinguish what it was and noticed it growing. It grew and grew, seemingly moving across the lake towards me. The light turned into the shape of a woman, wearing a white dress with her dark hair flapping in the wind behind her. Her face was twisted and contorted into gaping maw.
   I immediately ran back to the tent, screaming for my friend to wake up so we could leave. They awoke as I were shaking their sleeping bag and wondered what the fuss was about. I tried to explain what I had seen while at the same time ensuring them that there was no time. We had to leave, now! They got up and peeked out the tent flap and sighed. They said there was nothing out there, I had just been dreaming.
   We laid down again to sleep and my friend soon began snoring. As I closed my eyes I could hear a familiar shriek from outside the tent.

89

I awoke to the ringing of their communications panel. The green light of the chronometer showed 4:12 am, far too early for any sensible person to be calling. I dragged myself out of bed and tapped to open the comm-line.
   "Aisha Hanna speaking." I said.
   "Heeey Aisha. It's Emma, Emma Davies?"
   I let out a heavy sigh. "What do you want?"
   "Well, you see..." Emma seemed hesitant. "I might have run into a bit of trouble."
   "Troubling enough to wake me up at four in the morning? I have a day job, you know."
   "I might have, you know, 'borrowed' a little something from the Clan."
   My eyes sprung open. "Are you saying you stole from Sunbeam!? What's wrong with you!"
   "I only copied a couple of files, no biggie. Everything's still on their computers; it's not like I erased anything." Emma's voice had turned into a mumble. "Anyway, I need an extraction."
   "Are you serious?" I was dumbfounded. "You wake me up at night to tell me you've stolen from the biggest astrotech manufacturer in the system, and then you have the gall to ask for a ride?"
   There was a silence. "So can you do it?"
   I scratched an eye with my thumb and sighed heavily. "Triple rate. Where are you?"
   "Thanks! I'm still at the lab. You can get me from the roof of building F. You won't regret this."
   "I'll be the one to decide." I said and closed the channel.
   The lights of the flat flickered on as I started to get dressed.

Elements generated using tables found in the Stars Without Number: Core Edition Rulebook.

88

Sometimes I enjoy staying up late just listening to sombre music. I can't put my finger on why that is though.